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Sunday Thoughts on Living with Migraine - Kindness, Please

Happy-Sunday-CoffeeGood morning, and happy Sunday to my Migraine and Headache Family!

Last week was interesting, but not altogether pleasant. On HealthCentral, I published an article about a unique virtual study to look at the impact of activity on Migraine. Once the article was published, I posted it on my Facebook timeline. To see if you're eligible for the study, you install an app on your iPhone, answer some questions, then wait for an email. Some people let me know that they hadn't received an email. Although I'm not involved in the study, I reached out to someone I knew could get answers. It turned out that some people's email services were "seeing" those emails as spam and not delivering them.

It took less than 24 hours to get that answer, but one woman who was commenting on my Facebook page seemed to not have the patience to wait for me to get a reply. She began making truly nasty comments on my page. Nothing I or two other people said to her calmed her. I don't know if she wasn't feeling well, or what else may have caused her to be so angry, but I deleted her unpleasant remarks and accusations from my Facebook page. She then took to Facebook Messenger to berate me about the issue. When she got to profane name-calling, I was through. I urged her to get help and promised to pray for her.

As I sit and reflect upon the incident, I think of the post I wrote here a couple of weeks ago about being kind. I simply don't understand people who can be so nasty to other people as that woman on Facebook was to me. I wasn't responsible for any issues with applying for the study, but I was working to get an answer for people. I don't understand why she went off on me. Why did she feel justified in calling me a "whore" and other names that I can't repeat here? Where was her sense of decency? Where was her kindness for others? Doesn't she understand that I was trying to help... that I'm a Migraine patient with health issues of my own? I have to admit that it can be difficult to not let experiences such as this erode my sympathy, compassion, and empathy for my fellow Migraineurs. It's not easy to brush it off and continue to be open and available when others need help when one of them treated me so unkindly.

I came across a recent article that talked about how being kind benefits the person being kind as much as it does the recipient of said kindness. Researchers at the University of British Columbia reported that random acts of kindness can help lessen anxiety. Their study involved having people diagnosed with anxiety perform six random acts of kindness weekly for four weeks. Those acts of kindness helped them be less prone to social avoidance and improved their relationship satisfaction.

Being kind and empathetic increases production of oxytocin, a hormone released by the pituitary gland that some have called the "cuddle hormone." Research shows that people have more negative thoughts about their lives during stressful times, BUT when they're kind to others during those times, they don't have those negative feelings. A series of experiments at the Harvard Business School revealed that people who do things for others have higher levels of happiness.

All of that said, I realize that Migraine attacks can wreak havoc on our emotions because of the fluctuations of neurotransmitters that occur during a Migraine. Trust me, having had Migraines for 56 years now, I know how that feels. Still, I refuse to use that as an excuse for being unkind and nasty. When I have a Migraine, I'm very careful to either respond to people appropriately or wait to respond to them until I don't have a Migraine messing with my emotions. I know that I can be very cranky during a Migraine, and it's wrong to take it out on others.

All in all, kindness benefits both the giver and the recipient. It's definitely the way to go!

Live well,

PurpleRibbonTiny Teri1

 

 because a migraine is NOT "just a headache"

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Sunday Thoughts on Living with Migraine - Being Kind

WinterSundayMigraine disease can make us feel very alone and isolated. That's one reason there are so many Migraine groups on Facebook and one reason why #Migraine is often the most Tweeted hashtag. We seek information, we seek support. We look for somewhere we belong despite this disease that so often makes us feel separated from other people.

I'm a member of quite a few Migraine groups on Facebook, and I manage a couple of them. I also talk with administrators of other Migraine groups, and we've been struggling with managing our groups. There are two main problems:

  1. Spammers. People who tell us they have Migraines and they want to join our groups for information and support. These groups have rules against spamming - trying to sell group members products or services. Yet, these spammers, once we let them into our groups, very quickly post links to sell things.
  2. People being just plain nasty in their comments to other group members. It's fine to disagree with something someone posts. It is, in fact, inevitable that people aren't going to agree with everything posted by others. That shouldn't be a problem, but it becomes a problem when people get rude and nasty. It's simply not necessary.

Spammers are a huge problem on Twitter too. I've seen days when spam Tweets outnumbered legitimate Tweets for hours at a time. Some promise a "cure" for Migraine disease, something that isn't yet possible. Others are selling crystals and other things on eBay, still others have nothing to do with Migraine, yet they use the #Migraine hashtag. Last week, there were a couple of days when women were doing that to promote their nude photo web sites.

Twitter also has its share of nastiness. A couple of weeks ago, someone Tweeted a link to a web site to me. She was trying to interest me in having surgery for my Migraines. When I wasn't interested, she said that I didn't want help, that I only "wanted pills," and some other pretty nasty things. She then said she didn't know anything about me. Even though she was being nasty, that made me laugh and shake my head. My Migraines are very well managed right now with the FDA approved Spring TMS device. I explained to her that I'm having only one or two Migraines a month, and that the Spring aborts about 85% of them. Why on earth would I want to have a surgery at all, let alone surgery for which there isn't any double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical data to support? The discussion got nasty enough that I blocked her on Twitter.

My point is that there's enough nastiness in the world without Migraineurs being nasty and rude to each other. We should be sticking together. We should be kind to each other. The fluctuation of neurotransmitters that occurs during a Migraine can definitely affect our moods and make us cranky. We need to be aware of that and either take it into account when commenting to other people, or wait until we feel better. Even if we're commenting to disagree with something someone said, it can be said in a kind and respectful manner. People who want to sell things should do so in places where it's allowed, not in places where it's prohibited. Anyone selling something needs to be honest and not claim to have a "cure" for Migraine. These people need to stop preying on people who are so desperate for relief that they'll try just about anything. They need to get a real job and be kind to others by not preying on them.

Live well,

PurpleRibbonTiny Teri1

 

 because a migraine is NOT "just a headache"

Visit MigraineDisease.com

 

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Migraine and The Year of Conquering Negative Thinking

Worth-a-lookEarlier this week, I wrote about living with Migraine and being positive in 2017. Fortuitously, I came across a wonderful article from The New York Times this afternoon. Here's a brief excerpt:

Here’s a New Year’s challenge for the mind: Make this the year that you quiet all those negative thoughts swirling around your brain.

All humans have a tendency to be a bit more like Eeyore than Tigger, to ruminate more on bad experiences than positive ones. It’s an evolutionary adaptation that helps us avoid danger and react quickly in a crisis.

But constant negativity can also get in the way of happiness, add to our stress and worry level and ultimately damage our health. And some people are more prone to negative thinking than others...

“We were built to overlearn from negative experiences, but under learn from positive ones,” said Rick Hanson, a psychologist and senior fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.

But with practice you can learn to disrupt and tame negative cycles.

Please take a few minutes to read the full article via www.nytimes.com

There is great power in how we think. Thinking positively or negatively can shape every area of our lives, making things better or worse.

Yes, we still need more research to fully understand Migraine; and, yes, we need better treatments. The good news is that there are four Migraine medications in clinical trials now that look very promising. These medications will bring an enormous positive change to the treatment of Migraine. In the meantime, we can help ourselves tremendously by remaining hopeful and positive.

Live well,

PurpleRibbonTiny Teri1

 

 because a migraine is NOT "just a headache"

Visit MigraineDisease.com

 

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Sunday Thoughts on Living with Migraine - Be Positive in 2017

WinterSundayHappy Sunday and Happy New Year to my extended Migraine and Headache family! Wherever you are, and whatever holidays you've celebrated, I hope today will be the start of a wonderful new year for you.

I don't make New Year's resolutions. I used to, but every year seemed to result in failure in keeping them. Maybe I set the bar too high. In any case, instead of making resolutions this year, I'm starting 2017 with a promise to myself — a promise to be positive, regardless of what comes at me.

There are several reasons I'm making this promise:

  • A positive outlook is essential to the success of Migraine treatments. If we begin a new treatment thinking it will fail, it most likely will. If we begin it with a positive outlook, it has a chance to work for us. (Take a look at Hope Is an Essential Element of Migraine Management.)
  • Negativity only breeds more negativity. It's similar to the issue with Migraine treatments. If we have a negative outlook and enter situations with that negativity, it's unlikely that those situations will have a positive outcome. Negativity sets us up for failure and makes pretty much any situation worse than it was to begin with.
  • I want to be happy, calm, and productive. While that may seem to be a simple statement, we all know that accomplishing it is far from simple. Life is chock-full of problems and stress. For my physical, emotional, and spiritual health, I'm promising to be positive so I can control the problems and stress instead of them getting me down.

I hope you'll give this some thought and join me in promising to be positive in 2017.

Live well,

PurpleRibbonTiny Teri1

 

 because a migraine is NOT "just a headache"

Visit MigraineDisease.com

 

Follow me on    or 
 

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape© Teri Robert, 2017.

 

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